Men From Physics, Women From Biology

I was happy when I heard from my mother informing us that my brother is getting married. Since leaving us to seek greener pasture as Australia a few years back, my parents was a bit unwilling at first to let the black sheep of the family leave. However, the prospect of better future succumbed and we had to bear the melancholy of him leaving us after 20 plus years under the same roof.

It was a bitter pill to swallow for my two old folks. My dad especially was very sad that he rang me from time to time asking me how I was doing at university that time. See, my dad is the type that doesn’t show his caring through words. Well, that’s what we call an ego from the dad. So, when he called me I know something was different with him. Surprisingly, it was my mom who is the tougher side between the two. Apart from shedding tears in the airport, I see her coping well with the situation.

Thanks to Bill Gates, we get to see my brother virtually every weekend. Instead of relying on phone call to listen to his voice, we get to see him in person through video chat. That in a way enables my two old folks to get a glimpse of my brother to check whether he has gained or lost weight. Soon, a few years has passed. We were glad to know that he’s settling well into his job. Colleagues ok. Boss is fine. My parents managed to breathe sigh of relief upon hearing that. The next question, when will he start a family. The concern now turns into whether he has a companion or a life-time partner there? I’m sure my mom will be culture-shocked to find her future daughter-in-law serves spaghetti for Chinese New Year reunion dinner. But then, my brother sent us one photo of a girl to my mom reassuring her and my dad that they won’t get turkey served up for reunion dinner.

This entire story so far has been on my parents dealing with the departure of my brother to Australia. So, how about me? Well, I was too a bit down initially. He was my best pal in the family. It’s tough considering that our family doesn’t have a female figure apart from my mom to neutralise the egoism in the male dominated family. When I say ego, what I meant was love and caring doesn’t shown through words but more to hidden gesture.

Then, my focus turned to cheering up my parents. Many doesn’t know parents who dedicate all their time and lives to their children find it hard to accept the fact that their children have grown up and beginning to start their own family.  I was once told a joke that,

“To the son’s mother, the daughter-in-law is someone who stole their son away.”

Well, I couldn’t agree much. The society nowadays makes it hard for the younger one to support their parents and also his new family. Wife works too nowadays. It’s not like those days, the woman was a fulltime housewife taking care of the family while the husband was the breadwinner. The economy doesn’t allow that to happen anymore. The plight might get worse if their old folks start to have some maintenance problems. You know an old car eventually will have some problems here and there. The spare parts are no longer as perfect as it once used to be. It needs fixing and sometimes replacement too.

Car is easy. If you find too many things that need to be replaced or fixed, then you might just think of buying a new car instead. But this perception doesn’t apply to our parents. No matter what, they need to fixed or repaired. And the bill might cost more than getting a new car. Worse still, the spare parts are no longer available in the market! Outdated! No longer in production! That is when insurance comes in handy. To help ease up the cost of medical bill to be bored by their children. To be frank, I was kind of supportive of President Obama when he comes up with the Health Bill that ensures everyone in his country is covered with insurance.

Last month, I witnessed the demise of Han Ching’s grandma at her home. Though I didn’t get to see her breathe her last breath but I was besides her bed hours before. It’s the feeling of seeing one person suffering yet you can’t do anything about it, the most unbearable emotion every one of her descendants had to deal with. Her husband passed away 30 years ago leaving her to walk the next few decades on her own. Luckily for her, she has her children to accompany her. She had 8 or 10 children and dozens of grandchildren! Her funeral was massive!

I have friends who questioned the need of a couple to have children. Was it because the couple feel that they will be lonely when they get older and no one takes care about them at the later stage?

“It’s the most selfish act one think about themselves. You have children just because you want them to care for you when you are old,”  this friend of mine told.

The question here:

Why couple decided to have children?

I told Han Ching that it’s because we need to help the country to have a healthy birth rate and produce the leader of next generation.Yeah right?! But Han Ching provides me a better thought.

She said: “One couple with no blood relationship, with different backgrounds and upbringing managed to get together. They have nothing in common biologically. So, the only thing that “links” them together is their offspring.”

Hmmm. Quite thoughtful. Anyhow, everyone have their opinions we need to respect. Some might agree some might disagree. It doesn’t matter whether you have children or not when you grow old because:

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”