If You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking?

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Food is the essence of life. There are these questions. Eat to live? Or live to eat? I agree with both. Nestle recently announced their huge profit was due to the trend that more and more people are eating outside. Youngsters are so busy with their work nowadays. Cooking at home is troublesome. Eating outside is faster, cleaner and cheaper too. Pizza Hut guarantees you a hot and fresh-from-oven pizza in 15 minutes. Within one hour, you get breadstick, mushroom soup, pizza and a drink. It cost you just RM9 inclusive of tax. The best thing is you don’t have to buy, prepare, wash, cook, and do the dishes.

It is an upsetting trend and not surprisingly, more and more women don’t know how to cook. Out of 10, 7 or 8 might claim they don’t know how to fry an egg. I used to believe that woman or housewife should know how to cook or at least know how to prepare for one dinner. I changed that perception though. Actually, all man and woman should know how to cook. It’s a norm that anyone who wants to survive in this world should pick up cooking.

Cooking is one of the skills you need to acquire in order to appreciate more on the food served out there. You will understand all the hassle of preparation before the food reached the dining table. Food for thought, anyone? I normally listen to food critics by chef and not celebrities which I doubt they had entered a true kitchen before. Those claimed-to-be food critics will only report to you with limited vocabulary of “delicious”, “tasty”, “wonderful”, “yummy”, “different from the one I used to eat” and “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.

Real food critics especially those who had laid their hand on the wok will give you different outlook.

“The meat is fresh. Probably never been frozen in freezer.”

“Too much cooking oil. He/she should have expected some fatty oil to ooze out from the meat instead.”

“The cutting of the garlic does not suit the sequence of cooking. The finely chopped garlic burnt before the vegetable is even cooked.”

I always helped my mom when I was a teen. My mom doesn’t have the luxury of a daughter to help her. A substitute is better than none. After helping my mom in the kitchen, I have to say that cooking is not an easy task. It needs dedication. From buying, you need to hunt, see, feel, touch, smell, and bargain. In preparation, you need to wash, clean, pluck, cut remove excessive fat and marinate. In cooking, you need to stir, resist the oil splash, heat and smoke. After the dinner, you need to clean up and wash the dishes too.

The pride of man in Penang

Those days, man’s contribution came at the final stage. Now, it has to come at all stages. It’s an alarming fact that one can’t deny. My recent trip to Penang is more to an eat-a-thon. There are a few facts which support my claim.

I was at Gurney Drive, their so-called famous eateries hang out spot. Tried their pasembur, an Indian rojak. The owner? An Indian guy.

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I went to Air Hitam to try their famous milk which opens only at night. The owner was shown in the Astro’s Ah Xian show. The owner can speak fluent Hokkien and other Chinese dialects too. Guess what? He’s an Indian guy too.

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The next morning, the same location just opposite the milkman stall is the famous assam laksa. Han Ching’s favourite. She would sacrifice everything just to have a bowl of this sour assam laksa. For me, the taste is not bad. Different from the one I used to eat. Judging from the sight, it’s a family business and guess what? The father is the cook.

I read from internet about the famous aunty who fried char kuey teow (CKT) at Lorong Selamat. Most of them claimed she was too arrogant. You have to succumb to her rules. I’m not stupid. I am not a slave of her cooking. I tried the other one. Sister CKT. Erm… KL one is comparable at a much cheaper price and bigger portion. Readers might think sister’s CKT must be prepared by ladies. Sister ma… It’s true to a certain extent. When we left, I took a picture. The CKT sister took a break and was replaced by a man instead. Hopefully, not a victim of “potong”.

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On our way back from Penang, we dropped by Bidor to try the famous duck drumstick noodle or “ngap tui mien” at this shop called “Pun Chun”. Well, I didn’t saw the cook whether he’s a man/woman. However, besides the noodle, this shop is famous for the fried yam balls or in Chinese “wukok”. It was prepared by an uncle in his 50s.

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It’s no longer a tendency that woman must be the one that controls the kitchen. Cooking is not about talent or rocket science. It’s a skill that can be picked up by everyone. You just have to try and try over and over again even if your family is hospitalised eating it.

“I have failed many times and that’s why I am a success,” my famous basketball idol, Michael Jordan once quoted.

Skytrex - When Spiderman & Tarzan Battle It Out

Gloves? Checked.

Carabiner? Checked.

Last photo for memory in case anything happens? Checked.

Tribute to those who didn't survive it? No. I will get sued by the management for putting up such defamation. Those are the list of their highly trained staff on duty. Darn! Winconsin Tourism Federation am I landing myself into? So here is the story that leads to my suicidal act recently.

I was blaming my company for not organising enough team building event. In my second year here, I began to understand a new philosophy. If you want to change then you must not sit there and blame others if it's not going your way. You are the change you you want to see. Keeping that in mind, I decided to take matters on my own hand. I invited the daredevils in my company to go for this Skytrex thing in Bukit Cahaya a few months back.

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The route from Selangor arch at Federal Highway

The first of its kind in Malaysia, Skytrex Adventure is a place where you can enjoy jungle trekking from a height never reached before – via the canopy! Test your agility, challenge your fear (since we always claim Fear Is Not A Factor), walk, crawl, glide and swing through our different challenges in the sky, in total safety while appreciating the wonders of the Malaysian Tropical Rain Forest. In short, it's the sensation that has hit the nation. To make things more challenging, I booked the latest attraction in town, the Extreme Challenge (jeng3x). If you want to go for it, then go for the toughest one. So that when others push you to go for Skytrex again, you can simply reject them by saying:

"Sorry matey. I've done the Extreme Challenge. There's nothing for me to prove again"

The set up is perfect. We were gliding from one tree to another as if we were possessed by Tarzan and Spiderman. Safety is in it utmost priority here. Their owner, Julien Repellin a French guy. So, you can be rest assured. Your cable won't snapped suddenly. Your equipment won't tear off. I'm sure and can guaranteed you that "maintenance" word is in their dictionary. We were given instruction in the beginning at a mini track by the guide. After that short trial, you are on your own. You might feel nervous initially. Which step to do first? Which carabiner to hook first? Least worry. You will master it along the way until one stage you can close your eyes and do it with ease. The longest flying fox track is at the beginning. Smart move. Why? Once you done this toughest task first, you don't need to worry the rest. Quite a thoughtful thinking from the owner.

Walking stick was my saviour in Mount Kinabalu expedition. Here the gloves is your best friends. I regretted that I bought those gardening gloves only to be told that it was not allowed. Previously, the thread from those cheap gloves got stuck onto their glider. Owing to that, we were given options to either buy a new pair for RM3 or to borrow from them FOC. I opted for the latter. Sanitary issue aside, monetary issue is more important for me. By putting the gloves on, you will feel Spiderman+Tarzan spirits infused with Mat Rempit's adrenaline rush! Just like how Clark Kent feels when he gets to wear his underwear outside?

You climb the longest ladder.

You leap the greatest valley.

You scale the toughest air defying gravity obstacles.

You swing from earth's one end to the other end.



The best thing is you get to claim yourself Spiderman by performing the real act without landing yourself in the jail like our friend Alain Robert from France too! Isn't it ironic?

Venetianly Telco Relation Officer

One of the reasons why someone go to Macao besides the St. Paul's Ruin, is to pay a visit to The Venetian. To me, it's just another shopping complex paradise + casino repackaged as a tourism attractions. In another words, money squeezing machine. Getting to Venetian is very easy. There is a lot of shuttle buses around to fetch you from another casinos or airport absolutely free. The buses are clean, air-conditioned and sharp to the time. Best still, is the disco light you get to feel along the aisle during night ride.

I watched from Discovery Channel about this open sky that the Venetian is boasting about inside their shopping complex. It is night at the outside but daytime 24/7 from the inside. It is as though the time when I was in UK. It's 8PM and the sky still looks like 5PM. I guessed Nippon Weather Paint Blobby must have shoved his backside on the ceiling just like he did in the advertisement.

With the building inside resembles Rome architecture, one could even get a ride on their gondolas that travel along the river inside the the complex. The driver of the gondola even sings with Pavarotti accent. I didn't go for their ride because firstly they charge by head. Secondly, it's darn expensive. Thirdly, I don't understand any words he sings from his mouth. Last, they don't provide life jacket and I can't swim. Apart from casinos and shopping complex, it is of no difference like KLCC+Genting Highland. My colleague and even the taxi driver in Macao warned me on places like casinos. It's filled with all sort of bad people that cheat money and ermmmm whatever you can watch from Young and Dangerous film.

I was told to keep an eye on GRO. Guest Relation Officer. Nope it's not political or police officer. A Yahoo search about this guy asking what GRO means tickles my funny bone. Darn. Such a job can be labelled so professionally. Why can't an office receptionist who entertains calls be labelled as Telco Relation Officer then? You can easily identified some of them who dressed in tight fittings. In a way to boost their chance of getting some rich papas from mainland. Some are very direct and some are very indirect on their approach to lure their customers clients. The staff from the hotels shoos them away from loitering around the lobby which is within walking distance from the casino.

I too had a chance being asked by one of them. This lady was very funny in her tactic. I was looking at the directory to look for Manchester United store. Noticing that I'm travelling alone, she walked besides me. Cautiously looking around, she pretended to pick up her handphone and talk loudly in a mainland Mandarin accent,

"Wei, you want to do or not?"

I understood what she was trying to signal to me. Now I'm convinced that the term TRO (Telco Relation Officer) is getting more suitable for them nowadays. I pretended to pick up my handphone too and reply in a not-so-perfect half bucket Mandarin,

"Wei, this is police station. You called the wrong person!"

LOL. Well, that was the answer I intended to reply at first place. But well, they are human too. We might not respect their jobs professions but given the chance I'm sure they won't choose flesh trading business. I just ignored her and walked away.

God Must Have Spent Little More On You

Every morning as usual I will reach the office at around 7am. Normally, I will park my car at the visitor car park to free up some allocation for my colleagues. Knowing that no cars will come up as this wee hours, I will use the ramp to get down from the building instead. The air on top of the hill is refreshing. The routine flushing of the sewerage water into the drain is not happening around this time yet. I am lucky.

I walk up to the guard house looking for my freebies of the day. The Sun newspaper. I look at the Indian guard whom with his weary eyes. Putting up a grin possibly thinking it's about time for him to go off duty and the fact that he's actually seeing human instead of ghoulish figure. I greet him. He replies.

"Good morning. God bless you."

I was a bit shocked.

"God bless me?" I ask myself. I was lost for words. Never in my existence I get this kind of reply. I was the class monitor before and led the whole class to stand up and greet the teacher;

"Kelas bangun, selamat pagi cikgu"

Then the whole classroom will be filled by the noise of the chairs and tables being pushed and the sound of eerie voice ensued.

"Se............la...................mat.................
pa..................gi...................
ci..........ku...................."

The teacher will promptly acknowledge and ask us to sit down. I never heard anyone replies with the type of response I am getting from the one this guard is giving me. Even my school which had a Brother on helm during my time did not say, "God Bless You" when I greeted him.

A response like this is implying to you that this young chap is having full faith in his life. He was giving met he impression that this world is wonderful and peace.

Recently, I was a bit down blaming that life is unfair. I was a bit disappointed that with arrogant people who think they are right in every aspect and that the lives they lead are correct. While those not singing the same tune is deemed a failure. Sort of belittling others. Of course, I was angry. But as usual, I won't carry it to the next day.

That early morning itself I received an sms telling me God puts everyone into equal position. It is up to us to get the most and best out of it. I agreed. Instead of dwelling in the gloom, let's just find the way out to sun shine.

I look at the guard and smile.

"Well, thank you. God bless you too"

When Proton Meets Lotus

I was chatting one day that fresh graduate from engineering field aren't called 'Graduate Engineer' in certain firms. It give the impression that you are an amateur engineer. Instead, some are called 'Engineering Consultant'. Now, that kind of designation surely a please to the ears of any clients. I asked myself why should we called the orthodox name of Graduate Engineer, Assistant Engineer, Senior Engineer which is so plain and dull. Why not get a position name like:

Engineering analyst?

Engineering detective?

Engineering expert or even if you not shame

Engineering guru?

I was understood that there is even 'Rubbish Engineer' which means you sweep everything that are thrown to you. Sort of like a DBKL worker. Han Ching mentioned to me when we are discussing this matter that part-timer giving samples to passer-by in supermarket does not go by the title 'Promoter' anymore. Guess what they are called?

Sampling Specialist!

Just because you are doing the same thing everyday with the same tagline of:

"Sir/Ma'am, would you like to try our new product XXX"

without any pronunciation mistake does not justify the title of specialist!

I go to toilet everyday. Does that mean I can called myself

Peeing Sharpshooter Specialist?

So back to my early argument, both are people who studied 4 years in engineering course. Same job scope. But one looks like high tech exercise machine in the gym.

The other one looks like old-fashion recreational playing equipment in the park. That brought us to the title of this post. When Proton Meets Lotus. You can have the engine name of Hibiscus, Rose, or Sunflower. Customers will only give face to once-grand-but-then-go-bankrupt name 'Lotus'.

I have a colleague who says that you can call him every darn thing in the world. As long as long you pay him high salary.