Invasion Of Smooth Criminal In Sin City

Last year I was assigned to lead the team for a job assignment in Macao. When we arrived there on the first day the weather was warm that we can barely wear any clothing. It was so hot that you wished you could make the sun disappear.

Never had I seen a sudden change of weather like this that I need to wear 4 layers of clothing on the last day of my 12 days stint there! On the second last day, temperature index was at the highest level (orange). Weather was very cold that day with strong monsoon signal hoisted.

The wind was so strong that all my team members can even do this.

Being in Macao for the third time, I found this to be the second Hong Kong. The first time I’ve been to Macao was on my holiday break after Hong Kong work and I travelled alone. The second time was because of job duty but this time I had one colleague for companion. For this one, I had not one but three. Two brains are better that one. When you have four it’s the best that you can even play mahjong.

For me, Macao was like another version of Vegas where money is the mother of all sin. When you have money, you get to see many funny things around. Like one of world shortest cable car ride and the longest version of Hummer.

Venetianly Telco Relation Officer

One of the reasons why someone go to Macao besides the St. Paul's Ruin, is to pay a visit to The Venetian. To me, it's just another shopping complex paradise + casino repackaged as a tourism attractions. In another words, money squeezing machine. Getting to Venetian is very easy. There is a lot of shuttle buses around to fetch you from another casinos or airport absolutely free. The buses are clean, air-conditioned and sharp to the time. Best still, is the disco light you get to feel along the aisle during night ride.

I watched from Discovery Channel about this open sky that the Venetian is boasting about inside their shopping complex. It is night at the outside but daytime 24/7 from the inside. It is as though the time when I was in UK. It's 8PM and the sky still looks like 5PM. I guessed Nippon Weather Paint Blobby must have shoved his backside on the ceiling just like he did in the advertisement.

With the building inside resembles Rome architecture, one could even get a ride on their gondolas that travel along the river inside the the complex. The driver of the gondola even sings with Pavarotti accent. I didn't go for their ride because firstly they charge by head. Secondly, it's darn expensive. Thirdly, I don't understand any words he sings from his mouth. Last, they don't provide life jacket and I can't swim. Apart from casinos and shopping complex, it is of no difference like KLCC+Genting Highland. My colleague and even the taxi driver in Macao warned me on places like casinos. It's filled with all sort of bad people that cheat money and ermmmm whatever you can watch from Young and Dangerous film.

I was told to keep an eye on GRO. Guest Relation Officer. Nope it's not political or police officer. A Yahoo search about this guy asking what GRO means tickles my funny bone. Darn. Such a job can be labelled so professionally. Why can't an office receptionist who entertains calls be labelled as Telco Relation Officer then? You can easily identified some of them who dressed in tight fittings. In a way to boost their chance of getting some rich papas from mainland. Some are very direct and some are very indirect on their approach to lure their customers clients. The staff from the hotels shoos them away from loitering around the lobby which is within walking distance from the casino.

I too had a chance being asked by one of them. This lady was very funny in her tactic. I was looking at the directory to look for Manchester United store. Noticing that I'm travelling alone, she walked besides me. Cautiously looking around, she pretended to pick up her handphone and talk loudly in a mainland Mandarin accent,

"Wei, you want to do or not?"

I understood what she was trying to signal to me. Now I'm convinced that the term TRO (Telco Relation Officer) is getting more suitable for them nowadays. I pretended to pick up my handphone too and reply in a not-so-perfect half bucket Mandarin,

"Wei, this is police station. You called the wrong person!"

LOL. Well, that was the answer I intended to reply at first place. But well, they are human too. We might not respect their jobs professions but given the chance I'm sure they won't choose flesh trading business. I just ignored her and walked away.

God Must Have Spent Little More On You

Every morning as usual I will reach the office at around 7am. Normally, I will park my car at the visitor car park to free up some allocation for my colleagues. Knowing that no cars will come up as this wee hours, I will use the ramp to get down from the building instead. The air on top of the hill is refreshing. The routine flushing of the sewerage water into the drain is not happening around this time yet. I am lucky.

I walk up to the guard house looking for my freebies of the day. The Sun newspaper. I look at the Indian guard whom with his weary eyes. Putting up a grin possibly thinking it's about time for him to go off duty and the fact that he's actually seeing human instead of ghoulish figure. I greet him. He replies.

"Good morning. God bless you."

I was a bit shocked.

"God bless me?" I ask myself. I was lost for words. Never in my existence I get this kind of reply. I was the class monitor before and led the whole class to stand up and greet the teacher;

"Kelas bangun, selamat pagi cikgu"

Then the whole classroom will be filled by the noise of the chairs and tables being pushed and the sound of eerie voice ensued.

"Se............la...................mat.................
pa..................gi...................
ci..........ku...................."

The teacher will promptly acknowledge and ask us to sit down. I never heard anyone replies with the type of response I am getting from the one this guard is giving me. Even my school which had a Brother on helm during my time did not say, "God Bless You" when I greeted him.

A response like this is implying to you that this young chap is having full faith in his life. He was giving met he impression that this world is wonderful and peace.

Recently, I was a bit down blaming that life is unfair. I was a bit disappointed that with arrogant people who think they are right in every aspect and that the lives they lead are correct. While those not singing the same tune is deemed a failure. Sort of belittling others. Of course, I was angry. But as usual, I won't carry it to the next day.

That early morning itself I received an sms telling me God puts everyone into equal position. It is up to us to get the most and best out of it. I agreed. Instead of dwelling in the gloom, let's just find the way out to sun shine.

I look at the guard and smile.

"Well, thank you. God bless you too"

When Proton Meets Lotus

I was chatting one day that fresh graduate from engineering field aren't called 'Graduate Engineer' in certain firms. It give the impression that you are an amateur engineer. Instead, some are called 'Engineering Consultant'. Now, that kind of designation surely a please to the ears of any clients. I asked myself why should we called the orthodox name of Graduate Engineer, Assistant Engineer, Senior Engineer which is so plain and dull. Why not get a position name like:

Engineering analyst?

Engineering detective?

Engineering expert or even if you not shame

Engineering guru?

I was understood that there is even 'Rubbish Engineer' which means you sweep everything that are thrown to you. Sort of like a DBKL worker. Han Ching mentioned to me when we are discussing this matter that part-timer giving samples to passer-by in supermarket does not go by the title 'Promoter' anymore. Guess what they are called?

Sampling Specialist!

Just because you are doing the same thing everyday with the same tagline of:

"Sir/Ma'am, would you like to try our new product XXX"

without any pronunciation mistake does not justify the title of specialist!

I go to toilet everyday. Does that mean I can called myself

Peeing Sharpshooter Specialist?

So back to my early argument, both are people who studied 4 years in engineering course. Same job scope. But one looks like high tech exercise machine in the gym.

The other one looks like old-fashion recreational playing equipment in the park. That brought us to the title of this post. When Proton Meets Lotus. You can have the engine name of Hibiscus, Rose, or Sunflower. Customers will only give face to once-grand-but-then-go-bankrupt name 'Lotus'.

I have a colleague who says that you can call him every darn thing in the world. As long as long you pay him high salary.

How McDonald's lost to Tai Lei Loi Kei

In travel bible, one may pursue different goal during their holiday trip. I've met someone who just enjoy shopping, someone who just enjoy relaxing, or someone like me who enjoy seeing different culture and lifestyle. Most of my life, I do not have the luxury of travel to another country. I never own a passport until I was 24. That was also when I have this misconception that you need a passport to enter Sabah and Sarawak.

My Friend, Boon Chuan inspired me with his food blog. That somehow tickles my taste bud to try the best cuisine in town.

In Macau, I have the opportunity to taste their famous pork chop bun or in Chinese 'Chu Pa Pau'. On my last day, I hopped into the FOC Venetian shuttle bus from the airport. I knew Tai Lei Loi Kei stall is within 'taxi' distance.

Initial attempt to get the bearing right out of my map reading technique proved to be too much and I decided to resort to the ever reliable taxi ride. It is not that I gave up easily. With my watch showing both hands pointing at the digit '2', I just don't want to miss out this historical moment that is even better than our National Day.

What make this stall so famous in my opinion is not the bun itself but rather the marketing strategy it is playing with its customers. They only sell the bun at 3PM and only limited to 300 buns a day.

I made the right decision. I reached there on time. Luckily, I was early. Around 2.40PM, one lady was shouting that the queue is on. You can see all the customers scrambling to get into the line and within minutes you were wondering:

Are they selling Andy Lau's concert tickets?

I was not far behind. Since there is no limitation of how many buns one can buy, I saw some greedy customers tucking away with 5-6 buns in one shot. I eventually get my share. Put the deep-fried aroma smell one side, it is the sensation of victorious celebration that one manages to buy this bun is what I describe an exhilarating moment one should indulge in. Borrowing a quote from Sir Edmund Hillary:

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves

and my editted version on it:

It is not the bun we conquer but the queue itself

Now back to the bun. Well, the pork chop tastes pork chop. The bun tastes bun...... That's all I can describe with my limited food tasting vocabulary. Getting to Macau and you never tasted this pork chop bun instead of Big Mac is what the Chinese people saying describe:

You better go back to do farming

Got of Gamblers God Lost

“Your proposal is not good enough. Nope, I won't sponsor your program.”

Throwing my proposal one side. There I am. Sitting with my not-so-sober assistant who barely just woke up.

“Hey, you the one with the spec. You didn't sleep is it?”

The head of department of student affairs in my university launched a personal attack on my assistant besides me.

Dejected however, I put up a broad smile. I could have just walked out. But I chose not to. There are 15 people who are relying on this sponsorship to make our program successful. I started to persuade him to reconsider my proposal. I gave reasoning to support my program. I took out my folder. Some of the members from my society were wondering why I took down the certificates of the award our society won last year from the wall the previous night.

I showed the award to him to further stating my claim that my activity is benevolent. He gave a cold shoulder and changed to other topic. He gave us a morning lecture. Both my assistant and I were just nodding with acceptance of his life theory and bull-dung. I could have just slammed the door and walked out to escape from his countless personal attack and mental torture. In the end, he took back our proposal. Give it a few flips.

“Ok. I going to give you half of the allocation you needed. That's it.”

I will never forget that moment. Just 10 minutes ago, all was deemed doom for our program. My insistence and never say die attitude prevail. I clawed back from the brink of death and kept my project alive.

“That should be enough.”

Luckily, I requested more than I needed. That amount of money is enough even though I jotted down RM1000 in my proposal. I came out from the room and gave my assistant a pat on the back.

“Let's go back to hostel. I have class later.”

Some might think I lost the battle. In my heart, I gained. Not that I managed to get RM500, but it's more to what I would say perseverance won the day. I believe that if we are put into desperate situation, you will do anything to get back into advantageous position. The key is to never ever give up until the last minute. You have nothing to lose but something to gain. Lance Armstrong once quoted,

“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."

My trip in Macao is of no difference. Getting around in Macao can be really exhausting and mentally torturing. Even for a ‘seasoned’ backpacker, the city map is useless unless you have a GPS navigator. You barely can find the road! The road signboards are not erected on the ground. It is located on the wall. And most of them are being blocked by advertisements and shop’s signboards. Even with a map on my hand, I found it really difficult to locate my position.

Macao is just like Penang. It has just been awarded the World Heritage status for 31 of its historical monuments. The famous one of course is the St. Paul’s Ruin. Majority of the tourist’s attraction is concentrate on this structure. I agree. Just imagine one building is so nicely and finely chopped and left with just one side of the wall. It survives the test of time and nature.

Walking along the street that leads to the ruin is this street I called ‘Free Food Street’. If you are broke in Macao after gambling away your fortune, do drop by here for some food. I’m sure you’ll left here with a full stomach. The staffs from the shops here offer free tasting of their products. You can taste almost any of the titbits there are to offer, ranging from almond biscuits to peanut candies.

Food aside, Macao is of course famous for its casinos. From Grand Lisboa to the latest sensation, The Venetian are the few of the draw cards. I was awe-struck when I entered the Grand Lisboa casino. When the security at the entrance opened the door to welcome us I sensed the music of God of Gambler playing behind my ear. My walking motion became slow. Upon entering, I thought there was a fire inside. Well, it is actually the smokers who produced a tower of black smoke inside. Going inside the casino, I felt like I was entering hell. Actually, I don’t know why people will come here and part away their hard earned money just like that. Let’s face the fact that no one makes a profession out of gambling except Ko Chun. This claim is even supported by king of casinos, Stanley Ho himself by once quoted,

“It’s not easy to win money from casinos. If you do win, then you must be really lucky.”

When you go from one floor to another, you will notice there are just the same. Baccarat, dice, roulette, and slot machines. The difference from one level to another is just the minimum amount to bet. After visited Grand Lisboa, I don’t seem to bother venturing inside other casinos. I once quipped to Jeff when he was still with me on the first day before he left,

“The only nice thing to see in a casino is the face reaction of the gamblers themselves.”

Coming Up Next - Macau

3 days 2 nights. Alone. Macao map on my left and a camera on my right. One laptop with limited Internet access. Can't read Portuguese & Mandarin. No plan and no direction.

Damn! What on earth am I here for?